


Longing

by forged_in_darkness (orphan_account)



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 00:18:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7595944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/forged_in_darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troye knew he was probably making a huge mistake calling Connor when he arrived in L.A., but then when had he ever really been able to control himself when it came to Connor?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing

Troye knew he was probably making a huge mistake calling Connor when he arrived in L.A., but then when had he ever really been able to control himself when it came to Connor?

The phone rang back in his ear for a while; too long. The sound seemed harsh and mocking and, really, Troye should be over all this ridiculous self pity bullshit by now. He was just about to hang up and lie down face first on the hotel sheets and sulk in regressive melancholy when Connor's voice answered, his tone deep and uneven, still Troye couldn't quite read the emotion in it.

" _Hey, Troye._ "

 _Troye_. That felt like something of a blow to the chest. Connor always calls him Tro when answering the phone. _Called_ , his mind supplied bitterly, but he didn't really feel much like being bitter. He felt like crying.

"Hey, Con." And really, Troye couldn't help himself.

Connor's breath hitched slightly into the receiver and Troye bit his lip harshly in an attempt to stave off the stinging feeling in his eyes.

There was a moment where Troye paused in an attempt to compose himself, knowing that if he spoke immediately the tears would start leaking from his eyes and he might not be able to contain the barrage of emotions desperately trying to escape into words.

Connor waited through a minute of painful, awkward silence. And really, their silences were never awkward. They'd always been content to simply enjoy each other's company when there was nothing to be said. This time, however, there was a lot to be said. A whole world of sleepless nights waiting to spoken, and perhaps that is what, for once, made the silence awkward.

But Connor, more than anyone Troye had ever met in his entire life, was patient and kind to the extent that he would neglect his own wants and needs to cater to that of others. So of course he waited. Connor _always_ waited for Troye.

"Are you in L.A.?" Troye finally asked. Of course, he knew the answer. He'd seen the Instagram this morning of a coffee shop he and Connor used to frequent when he was in L.A. The tears were leaking out now but he managed to keep them mostly out of his voice.

Connor inhaled deeply, shakily, and Troye really wished he couldn't tell when Connor was crying. " _Yeah. You should come see my new place. I'm mostly settled in, so it looks pretty great now, if I do say so myself._ " Connor laughed, but there was no humor in his voice.

"Well, I've actually go the rest of today free," Troye replied, miserably failing to keep the hope out of his tone.

" _Perfect. I'm actually just watching a documentary, so if you wanted to come over now that works. Do you need me to pick you up?_ "

It felt wrong to Troye to be speaking so casually with Connor when they were both obviously anything but fine. Well, Troye couldn't truly be sure exactly what Connor was feeling, but he knew him well enough to know the difference between his normal, breezy speech and his forced, aloof timbre.

"No, just text me the address and I'll head over."

" _Will do. See you soon,_ " and with that, Connor ended the call.

Troye knew Connor inviting him to his house being the first time they'd seen each other in months was not really acceptable by most standards, considering the history of their relationship, but he couldn't help but feel excited at the prospect . Connor always had a way of clouding his judgement, but that was entirely Troye's fault and he knew it. Connor never intentionally misdirected him, but rather it was the things he made Troye feel that led Troye to make questionable decisions. If he had possessed the self control to ask Connor if this was a bad idea, Connor would have told him yes immediately. He would have told him to go out for dinner with Emma and Dani, to maybe call Hannah or Tyler to catch up. He would have advised Troye to do the rational and logical thing. But Troye didn't want to do the rational and logical thing and if Troye didn't seek guidance from Connor, Connor was not going to give it to him because he knows what Troye wants and he could never really say no to what Troye wants.

-

Troye didn't really know what he'd expected, but as he was approaching Connor's doorstep, he suddenly panicked. What if Connor didn't feel what he was feeling? What if he actually was well and truly over Troye and he just wanted to hang out with his kind-of-friend, mostly ex-lover-and-best-friend? It would then be unacceptable for Troye to make any attempt to act on his feelings, and the evening ahead would be filled with regret and deep chest pangs every god damn time Connor smiled that radiant smile. Honestly, what was he thinking? He wasn't over Connor, he'd hardly even begun the process of getting over him. Jacob was just a distraction. Troye knew he was probably in New York fucking some Broadway actress right now and he honestly couldn't care less. Jacob was only going to put him on a path of integral depreciation if he continued like this. He needed to confront his relationship with Connor, though he had less an idea of closure and more of an idea of reversion. It now depended on which idea Connor had that decided the path Troye was to take.

Troye didn't take a deep breath as he rang the doorbell.

When Connor opened the door, he looked Troye over and Troye's heart sank along with the look on Connor's face. But rather than speaking, Connor stepped back and gestured for Troye to enter, which he did. Connor closed the door behind him and they stood there, reading each other's faces. Connor looked so good, better than maybe ever before. He looked so damn _good_ , and Troye's brain unhelpfully supplied him with the idea to tell him that in an attempt to break the tension.

However, when Troye licked his lips nervously and prepared to speak, he was met with warm hands cupping his jaw and Connor's lips tenderly on his and suddenly his senses were clouded with how nice Connor smelled and how good it felt to be kissed by him again, and he couldn't help himself when he let out a soft moan and wrapped his arms around Connor's neck.

Connor licked into Troye's mouth softly and Troye was so _overwhelmed_ by every gentle touch of Connor's body against his. After what felt like an hour, but was probably only a minute, Connor pulled back and pressed his forehead against Troye's, fingers reaching up to tangle in his curls. He was crying. Troye was crying. This was all a bit too much yet also not enough. Connor wiped at the tears on Troye's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"You really need to stop crying over me, angel," Connor said gently, kissing the tip of his nose and fuck, _fuck_ , Troye is still so desperately in love and this was all a really bad idea.

The thing is, Troye didn't really _care_ how bad of an idea this wasas he laced his fingers with Connor's, looked directly into his eyes and said, "You'll have to direct me to the bedroom."

Troye  came untouched for the first time since they had broken up with Connor buried deep inside of him that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Zoinks! So this was written for my lovely, amazing best friend Lily's ( www.twitter.com/LilyElizabeth36 ) birthday. It's a day late because I'm a trashlord, but here it is! I'm so sorry there's hardly any fluff like you asked for, and I couldn't be assed to write proper smut so what you get is basically a pile of angsty garbage. I'm so sorry.


End file.
